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I have been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered many obstacles, her resilience is commendable. But, she's constantly caught off guard by others. Her partner walked away, and it was a huge shock. Several of her friends disappeared during that time, because they seemed drawn to him. It shocked her. She put in greater energy to be my friend, likely grasped better what friendship was.

The Pattern In Relationships

In the time since, many in her circle vanished and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been highly competent, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we have each retired so we're spending frequent meetups, yet I realize the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I introduce subjects and she changes conversation onto things she cares about. Politically, she expresses strong opinions. My effort is to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She's been planning a trip abroad I have traveled to on several occasions even called home for a while. I tried to provide insights, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially just desired my agreement with her decisions. I recently come back from a month there she hopes to meet, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to be a friend that walks away abruptly, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the consequences of her actions on my confidence. At this point, my state is avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to end things abruptly, but it is seldom the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of resolution requires bravery and openness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining the usual pattern in your conversations. It should be based on facts and essentially exactly what occurs. Step two is to tell how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement on this point. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. The third step is to question ways you together will alter the pattern in your relationship."

Keep in mind she too has her own side, meaning you must to be prepared to hear that. An approach that works is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for half an hour."

It's wildly effective for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story of their life they won't let go of since their identity relies on it and it represents familiar to them. It's tough because there's no easy route with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react this way then consider about what you've said. And should you never reach a resolution, you'll have peace from having been truthful.