Not having the time of your life at college? Many share your feelings.
One university attendee passed the majority of his orientation week looking at online platforms, reading posts about fellow students partying.
"I remained in my room," Robert recalls, characterizing that period as the loneliest time of his life.
Robert's flatmates seldom socialized, and his course didn't feel particularly social.
Despite putting himself out there by participating in sample activities for various societies, he couldn't find like-minded individuals.
"I started to lose my confidence," he says. "I felt like individuals didn't desire to form friendships with me, or they didn't like me."
Digital Platform Contrasts
Originally, Robert wasn't considering of attending college and received employment offers for post-secondary education.
Yet he saw his friends having great fun as college students online.
"When you must rise for your job during the week at nine in the morning and you see someone's been out on Wednesday night, you begin believing situations appear superior," Robert explains.
Higher Education Assumptions
Media content and online platforms can idealize the notion of student life.
Many individuals arrive at college with high expectations for what they imagine could be the best years of their lives.
Certain attendees begin their studies with "idealistic views," says a mental health professional.
Study Outcomes
- In a poll of new students initially, the main anxiety was fitting in and feeling included
- Further studies by market research agencies, 17% of students said they lacked friendships at university
- Over one-third reported they felt anxious regularly about forming friendships
Personal Experiences
Alisha Miah's TikTok feed was full of videos of girls having fun while sharing accommodation in university housing.
Yet when Alisha moved from her hometown to university to learn reporting, she found orientation period "overwhelming" because of how much alcohol it involved.
Alisha doesn't drink and had avoided party scenes before.
"I utilized much of orientation inside my accommodation," she says. "I just felt a bit alienated."
Mental Health Considerations
In a 2025 survey of more than 10,000 undergraduate students, nearly one-third reported they had considered withdrawing from studies.
The primary factor was emotional state, accompanied by monetary worries.
"Worry regarding these multiple factors is massively common, and typical," adds a mental health professional.
Discovering Answers
With time, Robert, Alisha and Christina eventually adapted and formed relationships.
Alisha made friends via her studies and using online platforms, while the individual experienced improvement after being able to share accommodation with peers.
Helpful Recommendations
Regarding his experience, currently in his mid-twenties and in his final year, it was participating in theater activities and employment during studies that assisted in relationship building.
Robert's advice to first-year students experiencing connection challenges is to just "get out of your room" and attend organization sample activities.
"After a few weeks of regular attendance, others notice your presence," he explains, "you notice their presence, and you start making friends."