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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?